I have a room mate. He's weird as hell. His name is Damien, but when he gets letters in the mail that's not the name on them. I think he just decided to call himself Damien because his real name is unpronounceable. He's from Ecuador. I'm not sure where that is, but I bet Google Maps does. Now, that I've filled you in on a little bit of Damien's background, let me share some fun stories about him with you.

Damien's favorite TV show is Two and a Half Men (You know..that lame sitcom with Charlie Sheen.) Not only does Damien find this show humorous, he finds it humorous to the point of belly laughing at 3am in the morning for extended periods of time.

Damien enjoys cooking foreign foods in the kitchen. On several occasions I've come home from work and parked a good hundred yards away from the apartment building. When I get out of my truck I can smell something disgusting and it gets stronger and stronger until I open my front door and consider calling poison control. True story.

When Damien wants to borrow a movie he says "Can I take one movie. Because my friend.." and he points to his friend.

The other day me and my friend were playing my friends Xbox on my TV and Damien walked in with some Hispanic friends and said "Can you get out so we can watch one movie?" Me and Brian just both looked at each other for a couple seconds like "Is he serious?" After a few seconds of silence Damien said, "It okay. We can wait." Brian and I proceeded to play Xbox until 5 in the morning while Damien and his friends played on his laptop in the kitchen. When they were ready to go to sleep they stood in the doorway awkwardly holding blankets and whispering to each other. It was too weird for me so I went to bed.

Damien usually only hangs out with girls and his favorite past-time is inviting like 30 of them over and cooking horrid smelling foreign food while the girls have screaming fits of laughter and shout Spanish jokes at the top of their lungs. Then Damien knocks on our doors while we're in bed and asks us "can I borrow one movie, because my friend.." and offers us stinky foreign food. This usually goes on until Chris starts shouting at them from bed and slams our door repeatedly. It's literally the best.

Damien might be insane. He talks to himself in Spanish at around the same volume most people would read out loud in class.

Damien receives phone calls at all hours of the night. He wakes up, answers them, and talks to the person on the other line loud enough to wake me up in a different room.

One time Damien asked me for some good American bands to listen to, in order to help him with his English. I suggested Brand New, Arcade Fire, Hot Hot Heat, and Matisyahu. Apparently he wasn't impressed and went to someone else for advice and apparently he asked for suggestions at a gay bar because he's been blasting Fall Out Boy, Justin Bieber, and Britney Spears on his laptop constantly for two months now.

One time Damien was doing homework in the kitchen and I was running late for work, so I decided to cook an egg in the microwave. (Honestly, who could have guessed it would explode?) While I was staring in horror at the inside of the microwave and dreading the clean-up Damien gave me this funny smirk and said "I can cook you egg if you want. I know how cook." I guess Ecuador is big on eggs because he cooked me the best egg I've ever had.

Damien owns a Super Nintendo and no TV. So he likes to unhook my DVD player, Xbox, and sound system from my TV on a daily basis, take all the cushions off the couches, throw them into a pile on the floor, flop himself down on them and play Lion King for SNES. It definitely brings me back to like 1st grade.

Damien is a pretty weird kid. He throws loud Spanish parties on weeknights, his food smells like sewage, he is rather inconsiderate of people's sleeping schedules, and he talks to himself extremely loud. But, he cooks me food all the time and we have some pretty interesting conversations on occasion. Damien is the weirdest room mate I've ever had. But, he's a good kid. I like him.